I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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