ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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