I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He felt like a one man threesome
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have fence marks all over my body
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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