i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
