i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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