so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
