Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
