Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
