this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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