Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
