Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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