It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
