Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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