At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
