Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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