I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
