people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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