I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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