I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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