Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
