Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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