i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Houston, we have a blender
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
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