I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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