Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
