they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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