You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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