help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
