You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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