Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
