So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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