you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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