Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
