don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
