There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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