Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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