So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
