I'm eating all of the evidence.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
smell my finger.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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