Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
