ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
