Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
