I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
