Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
