Hey man sorry I got all grabby
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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