I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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