And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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