Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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