2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
