sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
you had me at cake vodka
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
