i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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