I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
