You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
