All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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