Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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