I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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