elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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