do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
