Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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