Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize