Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
