I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
