Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
And then he peed in my hair
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
