Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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