You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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