hotel room ftw
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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