So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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