Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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