it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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