i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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