He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
