yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize