Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
